It is often said that opposites attracts and to keep the relationship interesting it is always important to maintain a certain mystery and discover new things about each other.
To try new things based on what one of you enjoys and doing them together to learn more about yourself as well as each other.
You need to be able to understand that your characteristic traits, the way you think and do things will be unique to you and how you deal with one another takes that into account.
At the same time it is very important to value the similarities you share.
Who we are by nature is something we cannot change, but our aspirations, values goals and ideology is something we choose to strive for and if that is the common ground shared by our loved one then it is an important green flag to acknowledge.
How we pursue the lifestyle we desire to have might not be the same, but having the same core beliefs and understanding are things that can make our relationship that much easier.
If the sort of lifestyle you both want to lead is similar then not only are you able to support one another but you can progress together as one unit.
You are able to move forward without conflict as the aims and goals you have are shared.
This does not mean that having common values and virtues will not result in disagreements and disputes, (you will still get mad at the opened milk bottle left in the fridge) they provide a harmony, a safety net and a foundation you have that you can work on and build together despite the bumps you’ll face along the way.
The common ground you both have is a factor you both take into account, a sort of identification you have for yourself, for example if you both believe in a more active healthy lifestyle then there will changes and steps you will take to ensure that.
And no matter what you may have going on in your life what you have essentially chosen for yourself, you have also chosen together.
The commitment might not be exactly the same, the knowledge and experience might be different but the aim and goals tie in together to move forward in the same direction.
Because focusing on the similarities is looking at your relationship from a long term perspective, things that you can grow together from and what direction your life together will take.
Life is a journey that is on going and constant, so is the relationship we have with ourselves.
Having someone who helps us be a better us, who helps us value ourselves and everything that comes with us because they value us, they make time and effort for us, pay us the attention we need and they are our best friend is someone we need to value and a be a good friend to.
Reflect. Love. Heal.
Brown Girl R.
Musings of Brown Girls 